Blogging......

Well..... I just realised that this blog has already deviated from its stated objective. This was intended to be mostly a Book review blog.. though 'other things too could find their way here from time to time'. Well........ if the pattern of my posting-so-far continues.... the blog will become an 'other-things' blog and BOOKS will then have to try and find their way here from time to time.... :-)

But with this realisation has come another one, namely, that it is not easy to write. I fully intended (and still do) to try and keep this blog as updated as possible. But that [to my shock and disbelief :-)] meant that I had to keep posting. Now THAT was a bit of a problem. Though I am not a complete novice at the art of putting pen to paper but I have never written on a public forum before and I find that it is a completely different ball game altogether. It comes with its own set of problems. The most notable being:

1. A blog, especially an unadvertised one, (even among the writer's friends circle) which hopes to attract readers solely by the merit of the writing, needs to be interesting. However, even though my vain self might find my own writing interesting, it need not always pass the test with the myriad readers. Therefore.......

2. A blogger needs to be honest, to himself and to his readers. Now, that again, I have a problem with. Not that I am a cheat or a liar!!!!!! Just that I find it impossible to lay down my private thoughts on a public forum. I had thought that those 'thoughts' would be limited to my thoughts and experiences in my 'life' alone. Therefore, since I wanted to experiment with blogging and still protect my privacy, I chose the one thing I truly love - reading books - and decided to blog on that. Now I find, that to lay down my thoughts and opinions on the various books that I read, and especially the ones I really like, is just as difficult. I realised that I regard my opinions on books and the reasons why I like some and dislike others, as private too. A lot of people may not agree with this assessment but I believe that the same book may connect with different people in different ways and it is not always easy to express this connection.

3. Also, another reason why I have told almost nobody about this blog is because I'm not sure. I'm not sure whether the writing is good enough. I don't care what the wider world thinks about me. I don't care... at least not too much.... about what other anonymous bloggers will think about my blog and the writing in it. It too matters, but only to serve as an impersonal feedback, which may be used to improve the blog. However, I do care, deeply, what people I care about, think of this blog. I care for their opinion. It would therefore not be nice, for this blog to be dismissed (however kindly or subtly) by them as being a not-nice blog.

Call it what you want - inferiority complex (?), inability to rise above the trap of other people's conceptions, insecurity, immaturity, not having confidence in oneself, fear, cowardice, humility (?), false modesty............... the list can go on. But this is true of me.. whether I like it or not. I am also reasonably certain that these issues cannot be peculiar to me alone. I, therefore, have a new-found respect for the blog space and for those bloggers who are able, easily, succinctly and interestingly, to put their point across.

I have been more honest in this post (on a public forum!!!!!) than I probably intended to be when I started writing this post. The confidence must be from knowing the fact that not many know about this blog (3 on last count. 2 - only guess and 1 - knows) and the one who knows has most probably forgotten or at the very least will be too busy to come read it. :-)